Back when I was in some popular “crunchy” mom groups on social media, Nurse-Ins were (and I’m sure still are) all the rage. Usually a Nurse-In was set up when a business had asked a breastfeeding mom to cover up while nursing, and a group of mothers would go to that business and sit outside of it nursing any way they deemed fit (however demure or flamboyantly that ended up being), claiming they were window shopping so they wouldn’t get in legal trouble. A lot of the mothers would get excited, ecstatic even, when there was a possibility of a Nurse-In. Even some of the mothers I had a great deal of respect for participated wholeheartedly. They thrived on talking about breastfeeding rights, and regularly invited me to join them.
I never did. I didn’t want to. But that alone would never be a good enough reason for them (and when put to the test, wasn’t), because many acted as if a person who didn’t physically show up at a business to feed their baby because another breastfeeding mom had been wronged there was worthy of the highest form of social justice warrioring to “educate” on why it is a necessity to keep our breastfeeding rights.
Instead of telling them I simply didn’t want to go, I made up excuses, saying I had prior plans or was busy. The truth is, I just don’t want to insert myself in the business of other people. Now that I’ve gotten away from the enraged, oppressed motherhood culture, I have realized that I had other reasons that I hadn’t yet fleshed out for myself for not wanting to go. It was mere “gut instinct” at the time, not something I could articulate while constantly being asked to tax my adrenals and sacrifice my decent blood pressure to be angry on behalf of someone else solely based on one side of the situation.
After a while, I removed their ability to invite me to these protests, because they could not take a hint and I wanted to avoid being lampooned as an unsupportive disgrace to the breastfeeding community. I decided that I’ve already disgraced the breastfeeding community enough (which other mothers vocally told me after I started breastfeeding covered, refused to post breastfeeding pictures online and wrote an honest list about things I wish I knew before breastfeeding), so what could one more post really hurt?
Here are some of my reasons for refusing to attend a Nurse-In (besides that I really just don’t want to)Continue Reading